''You advocate for therapy but what is it?''

It was a relatively normal night. I had just finished an online discussion and as always my final remarks were meant to encourage the audience to seek therapy. I did not expect this question as a follow-up to my sentiments. Nevertheless, I believe the question is important to answer. I will take a somewhat different approach in defining therapy. The following are common myths about therapy, as I discuss them, I will provide different answers that can help us see the true nature of counselling.

a) The first myth is that psychologists read minds. I get this alot. I have had friends, family members and strangers joke about not getting too close because I can 'read their minds'. Although I wish this was true, haha, it is not. Psychologists are not mind readers. We are not endowed with any special powers that help us. Psychology is a science of observation. Through observing your behaviour and listening to your story, a psychologist is able to identify the patterns of thinking that have shaped your life. Our role is then to help you come to those realisations as well.

b) All therapy is the same. Contrary to this opinion, there are a vast majority of therapeutic techiques that counsellors and psychologists use. These techniques range from traditional talk therapies to non-traditional ones like art and music therapy. Although these approaches differ in execution, the goal is often the same ... to help you express yourself in an open and honest way. As you consider taking the step of going to therapy, find out the therapeutic approach your counsellor specialises in. This can can help you understand what you should expect in the sessions that follow.

c) Counselling is for 'specific people'. For a long time, there was a belief that counselling was for the selected few i.e. 'those who can't handle their problems' or 'the mentally ill'. While individuals living with mental illness are always welcome, counselling is not purely reserved for them. Any individual can see a psychologist. Suppose you had just bought a new car, you would not wait for it to breakdown before taking it for service would you? I didn't think so. Therapy is to the mind what regular service is to a car. It provides an avenue for you to work through any day to day stressors in order to make sure you are at your best. There is no shame in taking care of your mental health and investing in yourself.

d) All therapists are the same. I have heard this statement many times. Just as each family member is different ... each therapist is different. We all have our own unique identities as therapists. For this reason, some therapists make use of humor while others do not. With that being said, I am aware that some of you may have horror stories when it comes to therapy (based on how the psychologist handled your situation at the time). Although, I cannot speak much in regards to your experience, I can reassure you that not all psychologists are the same. Take a chance and see. You never know ... the next therapist you work with might be the perfect fit.

e) Therapy is like seeking advice. Although a counselling session can feel like the perfect platform to seek advice, the therapeutic relationship is meant to provide you with a sounding board so that you can discover the resources within you. If you've attended any of my seminars or sessions, you've heard me say this before ... ''No matter how much we explain what we are going through, no one will fully understand what we are feeling or experiencing''. I say this because our human experience is unique to us as individuals and we can share those experiences but unless someone has lived through it, they may not fully understand. However, what they can do is provide us with the spaces to share and sort through our thoughts until we come up with a solution that best suits our situation. This is what counselling is. It is a safe space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings and ultimately come to a conclusion about what you want to do moving forward.

So in summary, counselling is a platform that allows individuals to sort through their thoughts and emotions. Psychologists make use of observation and listening to identify underlying thought patterns that influence behaviour. Although it may not seem like it, each therapist has a unique identity and they make use of a variety of therapeutic approaches to ensure you achieve your mental health goals. So if you were going back and forth about it, reach out to a psychologist today and see how they can help you. It only takes one step!

Well ... that's all for now! Feel free to share this with a loved one and keep the conversation going in the comments section below. Also, make sure to follow me on my social media platforms to submit your questions. Let's meet again, next week as I answer more questions regarding therapy and mental health. Take care and remember to stay intentional!